Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
