I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
