you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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