You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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