We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize