Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
