so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
