I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
