i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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