I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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