This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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