I must be too annoying 4 u.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
