How'd it feel making her break her religion?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
