It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
