he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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