I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
