We're like a lot better than the average bears
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't deserve a penis
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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