you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
