Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wish you could order shots online.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
