And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
