i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
