Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize