Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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