All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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