My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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