My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
