Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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