If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
