I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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