apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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