I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
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I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
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Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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