I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize