did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i can't believe i had my finger in that
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize