So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
