worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
