My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
