Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
