Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
