There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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