I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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