I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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