Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
