I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
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found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
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AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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