Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
