im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
