Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
