U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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