ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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