today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
