So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
