and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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