sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
