Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
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Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
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My day in three words: secret purse cake
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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