that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
