you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
