Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize