brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize