So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
