i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Randomize