Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize