did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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