I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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