Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
