Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
