and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
