Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
