I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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