We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
